Allen consult with me, because the woman had threatened him 18 years leave if not stop his guilt at all times. He admitted to not blame him often in different situations. He reproached him if he thought, she made an error, if he thought that she was wrong about something, if he alone or even if you had a bad day at work. Fee to ask questions when he knew the answer. He sometimes even not blame him if his golf has been disabled. Not blame whenever he held by it, or where one can have its approval. While freely, he admitted that he blamed him, it would seem to stop and have no idea why he blamed her.
How can I have investigated various situations with Allen, it became clear that not only his wife reprimand. Allen was constantly blaming and evaluation itself. It would beat orally sam errors, i.e. things as himself "I'm such a jerk" and are often very negative things to say to himself, "Things are never get better," or "I'm just missed", or "I'm a big disappointment for me." Would he feel upset and agitated to abuse it, but never connected his anger with its automatic judgment. Instead of this would be empty his anger at his wife or shout at other drivers on the road.
It appeared that it would not be able to stop blaming his wife until stop blaming and assessment, Allen. His addiction to not blame others was the direct consequence of its own-abuse.
The problem was that Allen had learned to be very kojące on his thoughts. Let the thoughts of a couch, never stop for screening or what he said was true or lie. Therefore it was constantly for the injured part personally, his ego self responsible. And this part has been filled with all the lies that he had learned in 46 years of his life.
Allen was dismayed when it appears that all his anger on others, really was his anger to the same abuse itself. It was projected onto other people, what does this do to himself. It is seen that was particularly sensitive to the judgment of the other because it was a discretionary one.
How can we examined why Allen is therefore self-abusive, done he has that he believed that if he was he himself sufficiently, it would have control over how be "entitlement". Realized that this was not true by experience play Tennis.
"I played last Wednesday and I was actually a good mood. I played just for him, instead of playing well, and I played my best game ever! The very next day, And played the worst I have for a long time. And realized that, having Done so, I'd like to now this Wednesday a control so that Thursday. As soon as an attempt to ascertain the loss.
I want to stop it, but I did it and my then this life. «How to stop? ".
Stop any dependency is always a challenge. It is particularly difficult to modify our thought process. However, there is a process, but it works only if you want to change. Amendment by self-abusive to self-loving became the most important to you than continue to try to control myself, auto-jugements.
1. attention to your feelings. Know when they feel upset, agog injuries, fear, guilty, prison, depressed, etc.
2 Take note to learn more about what you can say, that decision is causing your pain, rather that ignores by going to hit the substance or process or continue abuse alone.
3. ask yourself, "what to tell yourself that is causing feel me badly?" Once you are aware of what you say yourself, ask yourself, "I'm sure that what I'm telling the truth, or is this just something-And has been made?" Then ask yourself, "what am I trying to control saying it?".
4. Once you know that alone you lie that is causing you poorly and why you say to yourself, ask the party most high, most steam distilled from yourself or ask an internal source spiritual teacher or orientation, "what is truth?". When you want to know the truth sincere come easily to you.
5. change your thinking, now the truth itself.
6 Note, how do you feel. Polygraph will always be made feel bad, while truth brings inner peace. Time, which are not in the room, go through this process, to discover the lies you tell yourself. Finally with enough practice, you'll be in truth and peace.
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